Friday, July 18, 2008

Doubleshot

Can you believe i have actually tried what i like to call "stinky coffee" cappachino" (how do you even spell that??)
It's good with ALOT of sweet stuff in it!!! Not my fave Earl..
****note..super cute posie surprise towel from my new friend Jes... from KadyHope... I just love it..it came with us on our picnic last week..and it is helping introduce THE post!!
Thanks friend
Okay...here is THE post!!!
If you are just visiting for the first time..great.. you will be all caught up by the end of this one!!!
I have been pretty vague in my postings regarding our boys..
I am sure you have seen (or maybe not) how we go here and there...or Miss Kathryn comes to visit...OT..Speech...
This past year of Lemons is what i am going to share...
so get ready...

Last September...Sweetums had his 2 year well visit/checkup

and i was asked if we had any concerns... my only concern was that he did not have any words/speech yet...

so the Dr. referred us to a place called Babynet.

I was asked hundreds of questions about Sammy's abilities..

and i was abruptly awakened from life as i knew it.

how could i have missed so many details..i thought to myself..

it is not like anyone else was taking care of him.. it was only me..until Dada came home from work... and then, well..it was us.. This WAS the hardest time for us... Sammy scored well below average in speech/language at the age of 2... he was considered to have the language of a 10 month old..

What?? we thought..everyone develops differently...

he will catch on soon...

we met Kathryn through Brightstart in October.

we were immediately placed on waiting lists for speech and ot, and kathryn came once a week...

our first days of "early intervention" were intense..

homework consisted of leading Sam in an activity for just 3 minutes..TORTURE!! He hated it! He has made remarkable gains.. and will sit for an hour at a time now...

we are so grateful!
In the meantime..... our amazing friend Brownie works for Developmental/Behavioral Peds..and offered to send us a packet of info/ forms...just in case... there is a waiting period of about 6 months or more to get in...so we got a head start..

I hated filling out those papers... they were part of the beginning that brought me to my knees...

When did your child.....?

What do you think is the problem....??????

But we finished them... and gave them to Brownie....

and waited.... and we were all set with appointments in February.... During the early days.. as i was talking with someone from Babynet... i mentioned how i didn't really think anything of Sammy's delay in speech..because Myles was/is a late talker... there we were...on another track to get Myles tested.. because of their ages they were being assessed by different people... off we went to all sorts of appointments..

Our biggest appointment for Sammy was April 17th...

there were points of high anxiety in the waiting...

it was to be our informing conference...

Sammy started Speech and Ot in January... it was explained to us that he was having some sensory issues..and needed "more input" ...so he began to LOVE the swing!!!! he was so at peace with that thing.. not that he was wild by any means... but it helped him focus more... we are still working on so many things.. still no words...waiting patiently...

Thank you for reading on.... this is so helpful for me to put in words...i am trying to be as thorough as i can...as i recollect i am remembering some of the toughest times in my life... My heart has been examined..assessed...evaluated...in the process of our boys having the same done to them.... I am not the same as i once was. And i am grateful.


We were scheduled back to back appointments..April 16th for Myles and the 17th for Sam.... Myles was placed in a preschool for children with special needs... we thought he would start in the fall.... he started the next Monday!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHH!

This is Mr apprehensive we are talking about!!!! and his MOM!!

Those first couple of weeks were....crazy... but he ended the year making many gains...and his teacher wanted him to continue in his progress..so she recommended that he go to the summer school program as well.....and HE is doing great!!!

He will continue to go in the fall... and it is our hope that he meets and exceeds the goals that are before him....




April 17th.. Sammy is diagnosed with Autism.
What do we do now? This is the word i wanted least to hear..
This is the word that has changed my heart forever..
The puzzle piece is the symbol for Autism.... i asked the Dr. if the piece meant that there was something missing..... her words were so very comforting to me (and when i say me... i am including hubs too...) she said... "All the pieces are there... it IS a very intricate puzzle...and you may need to (totally speaking to my crafty natured selfy) use some glue to get some of the pieces to stick together.. and you may need to use some scissors to trim around some of the edges... or one of the chipboard sanding ma jigs to smooth the edges.."(ok..she didn't say that last one...but you get the picture) ... I thought... I've got glue!!! I've got scissors!! ...I've got ma jigs!!............. We CAN DO THIS!!!! so the picture i left with that day was of a crisp blue sky... I LOVE crisp blue skies..
have you ever tried to work on the "sky" part of a puzzle?? it is the trickiest part..all of the pieces look the same..and you have to figure out where they all go...grrrrr! Okay..so we have pretty blue sky and 10 billion puzzle pieces to put in place... This puzzle is not getting put away..it will not get rolled up and put under our bed....until we remember it 5 years from now and sell it for 50 cents at our yard sale..... (don't think badly of me..
no cleaning under my bed for 5 years...and poor Kisses from an earlier post... we ARE rotten....!!!!) So, I wanted to make something with my hands that would symbolize this for me visually...Sammy helped..and I couldn't be more pleased...


My Mom had given me this frame a couple years ago and i thought it fitting for our work of art....

The morning after when i woke up it hit me so hard..

These words would not leave me...

" I am pressed but not crushed, persecuted, not abandoned...

struck down but not destroyed....

I am blessed beyond the curse for His promise will endure..

For His Joy is gonna be my strength"

I felt so encouraged through the days that followed..and still, those words never left me..

I felt like i needed to tell someone who didn't know me... so i typed to Julie...from Joy's Hope.... my Spring swappy partner... it felt safe... She was so very encouraging and said she was sending me a giftie... something that had given her strength during a very hard time in her life.....

This stranger.....already knew.... I was so pursued by the Lord during this time when i should have been feeling only sadness...

I was feeling incredibly loved....LOOK!

Mind you...I never told Julie those words were a constant source of strength for me.... and she went and sent me a 5 foot piece of wood...SHE had made in 2001!!!!!!!! The Lord used her

story...her hurting from then ...to comfort me...us...and maybe even you too!!!! What does that mean...??? All of what i do and think and feel and say..i try with the purpose of making Him delighted by...JOYFULL by... and that strengthens me... That makes me Joyfull!! So, now that (if you are still with me) I have said all of that...i will post more on some of the fun stuff we are doing as we journey through Autism... We are so blessed...

This past Tuesday, Myles was diagnosed with autism too!

The Joy of the Lord is my Strength!!! Nehemiah 8:10

This billboard was put up a couple weeks ago en route to Myles' school..... It took my breath away then..and still does....

I believe this mountain will be moved.....

I believe our boys will recover...

11 comments:

Debbie/StudioBeeCreations said...

My sweet Joy....I could not sleep...so, I came to see if you had posted....I am glad you have opened the door for others to see your world... I know....hope ....and pray that thru your faith that God will see you and the boys survive...and meet the challenges ahead. You are truly a blessing to me...and you know Daddy & I are so very proud of your accomplishments with OUR guys!....Press On...I love you, always...Mommy
PS....still looking for the other puzzle piece frame; its in the studio somewhere!

mysteryhistorymom said...

Joy- What a brave and strong little Mommy you are. Your boys are so precious and God knows what he is doing, though we may not understand. I had my older daughter tested years ago as she is different from her peers in a few ways that I could just not let go. The results were that she may be somewhere in "the spectrum" but nothing conclusive. My heart aches for her at times but I just keep praying. She does have the most wonderful relationship with God and for that I am so thankful! God has made all of us special and unique and he knows our hearts even if others can't. All will be well, my sweet friend. Just keep living and loving your angels like you have been and God will bless you! Lori

Jes said...

my sweet friend...

just keep having that faith. just keep trusting and believing that God's purpose will be fulfilled and He is in control. you are an amazing inspiration to me, and i'm sure many others. i'm going thru my own season of trying not to feel hopeless and trying to remain full of joy and His strength. my biggest problem, i think, is not fully giving it over to Him. YOU encourage me to do that. i know God will move that mountain in His time, and cover you and your sweet family with His comfort and peace.

much love to you ~ jes

(...and soooo glad you like the towel!!)

goforlee said...

when I told my friend Rob about the boys, he said "well, you know, we all have something about us that makes us a little different from others." It made me think about the movie: "different, not wrong".

emily said...

Thank you for sharing all of this. What a story you have...it is beautiful, messy, redeeming and on-going. And it is all yours. I am touched by your embracing of it.

Elise said...

Your faith is amazing!! I am out of words about this post. I think I would curl up in a corner and cry, but you, you seem so JOYful in all situations. You are a great testimony to Jesus, God's grace.
Hope you have a wonderful week!!
Elise

Mimi-n-Moe's Mom said...

I read your post earlier this past weekend, and attempted to leave you something, but could never get it right. I love how you are accepting all the challenges with such grace and determination. Hang in there, and thank you for sharing this with us. I know so many families going through similar situations.

Julie said...

Hi Sweetie,
Wow. Thank you so much for letting me into a window of your life with such honesty and faith. I am praying for you and you precious family all of the time. I love that little sign on your mantle. I could just cry! I tagged you on my little blog today too.
Take Care!

Amy said...

What great courage you have to share your story with others. You may never know this side of heaven all the hearts you touch. Thank you.
"I will be with you; I will not fail you, nor forsake you....Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, nor dismayed; for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:5&9

blessedme said...

You inspire me as a Mommy, your story, your strength, your faith. Your little boy will be a constant blessing to you and you to him. I'm really humbled right now.

mysteryhistorymom said...

Joy- Thank you for your lovely comments! You certainly deserve this award as you are a blessing to me and so many others- plus a great friend.:-) Hope you had a wonderful vacation! Lori

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